BIG BROWN EYES // INSIGHT
Take me out of my misery. Things aren’t quite what they seem.
Took you by the wrist, discovered your slits, nursed you back to health but you resist. Cut deeper, feel me shutter, the hill is getting steeper. The grass is greener on the other side, only up to chapter 3 and I’m surprised we’re alive. On my knees looking for something that’s not there. Last summer nobody thought you could throw very far. Last summer, now is just a dream. Spin me around, lets explore each others eyes. We didn’t make love on the first night. I wanted you to know what’s good; being cruel to be kind.
Big brown eyes. Surprises come in threes. You’re the most beautiful time of year. Walk through that door, leave your fears outside. I pull your hair back off your face. Rose petals now celebrate your beauty. Blue oceans, find solace in the clouds. Why don’t you come down? I feel your heart beat loud. Am I in love or just falling apart. You have my heart in your hand. Tell me, how heavy is it?
Two sugars for me, thanks a lot. Are you sure the mochas hot? I love you, I miss you. I want nothing to do with you. I believe in the truth behind the concept of freedom. Thank you for creating me, I have nothing to complain for my dreams have come true. Blue love, soft love. Play hard when it’s over, otherwise just love me. It’s just you and me baby. Show me the rest, don’t hide from me, lets get undressed. Sizzling under the sun. Summer born tendencies fulfil my fantasy. Keep it on the down low. Tell your boy to watch his back. Bad girl, she’s about to self destruct. Walked through the door, saw your face, closed the door. I thought you loved me but it was for your image. I guess magic’s only real in fairy tales. Why would I want you to love me so bad? Why would I care if you kissed someone else. Smell the air, the cheap champagne. I look out at the ocean with your hand on my knee. These emotions have been kept dormant for what feels like eternity. I turn to you and divert my attention to your eyes and I wonder; are you the person I can tell? I look deeper into your big brown eyes and realise you’re not there. No words, just intangible emotion. A tear falls from my eyes and I suddenly know. No words can describe.
XI CANCRI // MASOCHIST
Masochism is at the front register of the local supermarket, it’s in the mind of the girl at the cafe and even in the eyes of the fly on your sleeve.
Nights spent riding through deep empty roads on a path to nowhere in particular. Those are the journeys I could never forget. We laughed and indulged in our own sweet, sweet self gratification. We were rich with knowledge and had a passion for beauty that distracted us from our realities. Blackouts where more common in these streets, but this isn’t the true correlation between my most curtain of beginnings and most devastating of ends.
Most days I wake up feeling nostalgic, but luckily I have the spring breeze saving me, whisking by me, caressing the hairs on my arms and filling my lungs with it’s light, gentle disposition. I’ve become gentle. Gentle enough to touch a baby the way a mother does. I’ve now come to think of the weather as an entity, a personality that has moods just like me, but nobody wants to be closely observed - not even the weather. Nothing is out of site, so for us to say one thing but then to mean another was meant as, i suppose, a trendy adaption of behavioural predisposition presented as a social statement rather than an honest, grand gesture of true diplomatic vulnerability to indicate any signs of emotional intellect.
I simply thought this was enough to keep me in contentment with myself, my surroundings and my wondering mind. It was a trend that was as insidious as it was known by its practisers, but this complemented with a lethal dose of self denial was enough to put a horse to sleep.
If the whole world was blind, how many people would you impress?
CAKE & EAT IT // TZIMTZUM
So many times we watched our dreams explode right before our very eyes. We had no direction, no specific ambition; just an intangible lust slowly fulfilling every one of our very basic human needs. We wanted to watch the world evolve and we also wished to see it explode just like our simple but tangible dreams. We are the eternal optimists. Always travelling. Not following any exact direction. Our souls maintained a relatively poised mystique luring in anyone who dared to venture. Ill equipped with our fundamental human instincts, we trusted anybody, believed anything, thought we knew the truth of what was truly lying right below the surface.
Your face became familiar in a way that comfortably delivered solace to my rapid, unresting soul. My heart, I thought, belonged to me. Now I understand that it belongs to no one and that all along it was all just a figment of my imagination. The haunting gaze you gave me sent nerves speeding down my spine. Activating every avenue consisting of my most inner honest desires that created a new light that beamed and blinded everybody but me. I trusted your every word and let you take the lead. Little did I know that this dance would turn into my solo debut.
Haunting eyes gazed upon me.
I’m unknowing. Lost.
I start again - I become a fetus.
My only instinct is to stay close but my conflicting thoughts take me to a place where I don’t know you anymore and where you no longer know me.